Uncle Tumor

One day a few weeks ago, a friend, M, said he knows someone he thinks would like me, would I be interested in being fixed up? I've never been set up before, so why not? A pre-screened date can't be that bad, right? He's about my age, has been living in the States about 6 years now, self employed, sounds pretty good so far.

He saw my pic, I saw his...Not quite my type, but pictures can be tricky. We all went out for dim sum, and M invited his friend, Tomer. He was better looking than his pictures, but still not quite my type. Regardless, he was nice, decent sense of humor, seemed intelligent...We exchanged numbers. Oh, and did I mention he lives 3 blocks away from me? I thought it might be a little too close for comfort, but also might be good for, well you know...

Long story short, Tomer had a tendency to say "Let's do something Friday night, I'll call you", disappear, then text me 15 minutes before he wanted to meet up. Seriously? I'm sorry, but while my dance card isn't completely full, if I haven't heard from you by that morning or afternoon, I'm making other plans. It's inconsiderate to expect me to wait around for you to confirm. He also liked to call himself "Uncle Tomer", which really, really skeeved me out. Can't you just hear "Hey little girl, do you want some candy? Come here and sit on your Uncle Tomer's lap" in the background???? YUCK

After about 2 weeks of attempted last minute meet-ups, I just wanted to have coffee with him as a courtesy to M and be done with it. We finally agree to meet on Sunday.

Maybe I was hormonal, but "Uncle Tomer" texted me at 3am Sunday morning: "Hi Chloe, you're probably sleeping, I hope you had a good evening. Call me when you wake up and we can meet for coffee or brunch" Are you kidding me?! I realize if I hadn't been totally grossed out by the whole "Uncle Tomer" thing, it could have been sweet, but I don't like being woken up for nonsensical shit from people I don't know.

I text him the next morning to let him know I got his text, yes, I had been sleeping, and to kindly say that I think he's nice, but I think our schedules and lifestyles are not a good match. Sorry and good luck. The following text exchange ensued:

Tomer: R u mad?

Chloe: No, I just really don't think we're a good match.

T: But you didn't give me a chance.

T: Besides, we live so close, we can make this work.

(Really? That's your rationale for going out with me? Sweet.)

C: I'm sorry you feel that way, but I really don't think we're a good fit. Besides, proximity has nothing to do with whether things would work out. Take care.

T: But remember I text you and you couldn't go out because you made other plans...blah blah blah....

C: (IGNORE)

T: Besides, at the end of the day, it's the man who pays for dinner, so you should give him a chance otherwise you'll stay single forever!

O-kay, Uncle Tumor! Thanks for confirming why I shouldn't go out with you, NEXT!

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