Hoover

A coworker mentioned some time ago that she wanted to fix me up with a friend of hers. Actually, she started the conversation by saying, "Do you care if they're short?" as I was walking out of her office. Great intro, huh? She kind of likes to cut to the chase, which is why I like her.

Now, I have to admit, I'm feeling a little gun-shy about the whole fix-up thing considering what happened with Uncle Tumor, but I know her pretty well, and she's known him for over 5 years, been on vacations with him and all that. So, why not, right? If you go into it with no expectations, you just might be surprised. The height thing...I had to ask her just how short he is. At 5'3", I'm fairly petite myself, but he can't be too short, right? She estimated 5'8", which isn't too bad, so I'm going to keep an open mind about things, and we'll see.

We had been emailing pretty regularly for a little over a week, and the e-chemistry was great! His emails were witty and funny, he was intelligent...I was really looking forward to meeting him. I figured no matter what, it should be fun!

We met after work at a bar in the Meatpacking District, figuring we could take a walk on the High Line afterward. As I was leaving the office, my coworker warned me that he likes to talk...a lot. Well, not only did he like to talk, he must have been the most elaborately animated person I've ever met in my life! His gesticulations alone were so wild, and he talked so fast, I started to wonder if he was high. But I dismissed that, thinking, "Oh stop, he's just nervous." So I sat back, relaxed myself, and slowed down, hoping he would mirror my behavior, but that didn't work. At all. And then I realized, his eyes are kind of red-rimmed...but he's not really sniffing much or wiping his nose...hmmm....

We finished our drinks and went to the High Line. Not my first time up there, but it was for him. If any of you haven't been, definitely go. It's an amazing accomplishment that has been worth the wait! It's great for a date - you take a nice, romantic, leisurely stroll, and take in the great views. That is, unless one of you is seemingly high as a kite. We practically power-walked that thing. I'm not even joking. We got up there, and the next thing I know, we were at the end in 8 minutes flat. I was shocked, and looking back, I'm not even sure he noticed we were up there!

Next, we had planned to continue our (power) walk to the Frying Pan. But since it was actually decent out, it was packed to the gills. So we kept on (power) walking and talking, and headed to Trestle on Tenth for dinner. Once we got there, he disappeared in the bathroom for a good 20 minutes. I started to wonder if he was hoover-ing that shit up his nose, he was gone so long. Thank god for my iPhone and the fact that I like to take pictures on it (see pic above from their window seat).

We sat down to eat...the food there is absolutely delicious. We ordered the beet salad with blue crab and currants, and steak tartar for apps, then calves' liver with perfectly caramelized onions and halibut with a warm beet salad for dinner. Everything was prepared to perfection and was soooo yummy!!! I love food!!!!!!

Okay, I know I sound more excited about the food than the date right now, but I did have a decent time. I just didn't feel any sparks...and I definitely couldn't see myself shoving my tongue down his throat. But conversation was interesting and fun, in spite of his speedy persona. Conversation flowed pretty well, and meandered from family, to work, to school, to crazy childhood antics, to our lives in NYC. We eventually somehow got to the topic of clubbing in the 90's and drugs...at which point he says to me, "Yeah, I still do coke...but I really need to try to cut it out of my life."

Wait, NEED to TRY???!!! You mean my instincts were right????!!!! Dude, if you have to put it that way, you're not just an occasional user, you flat out do it way too much! Then he started to talk about how when he does it, the night never ends well, he regrets it the next day, and oh yeah, he can't perform when he uses.

Too. Much. Fucking. Info.

Needless to say, when my co-worker asked for details the next day, I simply said nice guy, good time, but no cha-cha. And yes, he was too short.

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