The Canadian

I got a text from an old flame last night, which was a pleasant surprise. We've known each other for nearly 20 years now (holy shit, has it been THAT long???), and while we don't keep in touch regularly, I do hear from him once in a blue moon.

He's Canadian, so when we were kids, we only saw each other about two or three times a year, when he came to visit family. We had a silly, childish flirtation that began the day we met, but one of us was always in a relationship whenever the other was single. Ten years later, we were finally both single at the same time, and he was going to be in town for a few days. I had just moved into my very own place in the city, and was feeling very grown up and cosmopolitan. Hmm...whatever was a girl to do?

I'm a lady now that I'm in my thirties, so I'll spare you the gory details of that fatal night, but let's just say that after 10 years of build-up, the earth did not shake. AT ALL. Well, not for me anyway. If I had to rate it, it would probably be down there at the bottom of the list. I'm sorry, but someone has to take that bottom slot, right? I'm sure I've been at the bottom of someone's list at some point!

I guess I faked it well enough, because last year he was in town for a few days, and we met for dinner. Towards dessert, he brought up that night with great fondness and wistfulness. I couldn't believe he still thought about it after all these years, because I certainly don't. In fact, I'll pretty much do anything not to!

So last night, he text me to let me know he's coming to town again, and is wondering if he has a place to stay. Sure, I reply, my couch is very comfy (even if it had been good, I am a lady now). He thought I was being coy and asked if that was negotiable, as he was hoping for a "Chloe visit".

(Yes, those were his words exactly.)

Seriously? What am I, a ride at Disney World?????

Did he really think that would make me swoon and grant him entry into my bed, much less my pants???

What has happened to the art of courtship and wooing women? Where have men learned that this is acceptable?

Men, listen up: we want to be complimented, made to laugh, made to feel special and beautiful. We want to be courted...gracefully, respectfully and skillfully, not hit over the head with a club and dragged off to bed! Come on, put some effort, finesse and courtesy into it, for crying out loud!

I don't believe in playing games, but dating and seduction between two people IS a delicate dance. Push too hard or too fast, and your partner will trip and fall. But if you move to the rhythm, keep your partner on their toes, and sweep them off their feet once in a while...now THAT makes for a fun dance. It's that simple!

Oh, one last thing - have some integrity, too. The Canadian's FB page still says he's in a relationship. Granted, he might not be and just hasn't updated it yet, but still...!

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