Happy New Year!!!

I am terrible at making resolutions, and even worse at keeping them. Saying I'm going to go to the gym twice a week every week never kicks off. Shopping less usually works, but because I don't give myself any parameters, how much less am I really shopping...?

So instead of making resolutions at the end of every year, I try to look back at the lessons I've learned over the past year and reflect on my intentions for the coming year. So...what have I learned this year, and what's to come for the next?

10 Lessons I Learned in 2009:

1. Be absolutely clear about your intentions and what you want before you put it out there in the universe. If you are, it will happen.
   
2. Always speak up for yourself. Or as Madonna once sang, "Express Yourself"
   
3. If you really don't want to do it, don't.
4. Listen to your body when it's trying to tell you something is wrong.
5. Do everything and anything that makes you happy at all times; never ignore your desires, doing so kills you a little bit inside.
6. When you're experiencing conflict with someone, keep in mind that it's usually not about you, so don't take it personally. It's all ego, don't push because pushing results in more resistance. Let things blow through and they might just turn out okay.
   
7. Be patient.
8. Let go of old baggage - tangible and intangible!
   
9. I'm not always right.
   
10. Dwelling on the negative will only perpetuate it and keep you stuck. So get it out of your system and then get over it. If necessary, give yourself a deadline (this works for depression too).

My Intentions for 2010:

1. Love with an open heart, don't let the past affect the here and now.
2. Use my Gratitude Journal daily - only need to come up with five things a day!
   
3. "Do" more, don't just think about it, and then subsequently forget about it.
4. Exercise my creative muscle more - go back to photography, take a painting or writing class.
5. Don't worry about things so much, all the worrying in the world isn't going to change things that are out of my control.
6. Plan for a vacation, rather than just pick up and go (this will make an overseas trip much easier!).
7. Let go of negativity, only surround myself with people who can support this. Stay positive and focused.
8. Don't be so hard on myself all the time.
9. Listen.
10. Celebrate daily. Celebrate life, love, family, friends, food, joy, beauty, art, emotion and inspiration...even fear!
    

That's a good start, I think. What are your lessons learned and intentions for 2010?

Have an amazing, safe, and loving New Year!!!!!

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Merry Christmas!!!

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Mortified With a Capital 'M'

You know your new relationship is solid when you've got one of those gut-wrenching stomach aches, have been sitting on the toilet for 15 minutes, emitting loud, sound-effect farts...liquid poop is coming out of your butt with your man in the very next room because it's a studio apartment and there's no where else to go, and you're mortified because there isn't a chance in hell the TV is loud enough to help mask the sounds.

At least I got THAT out of the way, what embarrassing milestone can I cover next???

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It's an Early Christmas for Chloe!

I've always had trouble with my back, but lately it's been worse than usual. I spent most of last weekend groaning like an old lady as I would stand up or try to sit/lay down, wincing and saying, "Oh my back!". It's not fun getting old, I feel like I'm falling apart!

So I went to my chiropractor to get cracked and fixed. And fix me he did, he twisted and cracked, gave me some heat and about 10 minutes with the electric stimulation thingy (for those of you who have never had this, it's for pain management, like acupuncture) I feel like a new woman!

As I was getting ready to leave, he gave me a cute little box. And what was inside? An at-home electric stimulation pack!!! He wanted me to use it on my back about an hour a day, apparently. He showed me how to use it, explained the little dials, I was all set.

The first words that popped out of my mouth?

"Oh cool, a new sex toy!!!"

Ho-ho-ho, Merry Christmas!!!!

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'Tis The Season

'Tis the season...to stress over presents...to eat yourself silly...for holiday parties galore...indulgence and excess. Too much of everything!

I went to my first holiday party tonight, and I literally ate so much, I think I may have hurt myself. Thank god for stretchy pants, that's all I can say!

I finally brought home a Christmas tree the other night (thanks to my brother for doing the heavy lifting)! I don't know why it's so important to me, but I just love having a Christmas tree. It makes home feel more homey and festive, I guess. I love decorating it, the piney smell, and love looking at the lights. And...I guess I also wanted to bring home some cheer, since this is around the time I had to put Zoe to sleep last year.

So we got the tree here, got it in the stand, poured the water in the base...and Mya decided to check it out. By trying to eat it. Dumbass.

Out came the squirt bottle, and I hope it worked to make her stop. The last thing I need is for her to chew away while I'm at work and to have to take her to the vet for another $300 visit!!!

This weekend is my annual Christmas baking marathon, and hopefully I'll find time to finish up my shopping. Why do I put things off to the final two or three weeks every year??? Every year I have the greatest of intentions to start around September/October, but every year, it boils down to this. Sigh.

'Tis the season!!!

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This Is The Life

I flew in my first private plane today. NO JOKE, I really did!!!

Not private jet like in the movies where there are lounge chairs and couches, this was a regular 30-seater jet, but it was still nice!

So let me back up a bit - one of my clients called me about two weeks ago and asked if I would be willing to come out to Ohio to present and demo to their IT group, who is looking to contract our services. "Let me check with my manager to see if I can travel approved," I say, because do I really want to fly out to Ohio in December? (I hate the cold, for those of you who don't know this about me.) "Oh no problem," my client says to me, "we have our own private shuttle that flies back and forth from NY to an airport 15 minutes away from our office twice a day, would that make it easier for you to come out for the meeting?"

HELL'S YAH!!!!!!

So he tells me to get to the airport at 8:15 this morning for the 8:30 flight. Yes people, you heard me right - I only had to show up 15 minutes before take off! I show my ID and I'm officially checked in. That's it. No printed boarding pass, no security line, no x-ray machines, no taking my shoes off, take your laptop out of the bag and into the bin, no take off your belt and jacket, NOTHING OF THE SORT. All I had to do was walk my ass out onto the tarmac and into that nice, clean plane.

And we taxied off in less than 10 minutes! When does that happen in the tri-state area, or any other metropolitan flight zone???!!!

The flight was like any other, except there were only about 15 people on the whole flight, no children whatsoever, and it was nice and silent. We had a nice simple breakfast served to us in the morning, but coming home, they served us grilled chicken salad with black bean salsa and a tomatillo vinaigrette, whole wheat crackers, and chocolate mousse (yes, seriously - dessert too) with whipped cream on top. Oh, and a nice little mint too. So thoughtful.

Oh, and the meeting went really well. I think I'm gonna get the additional business. But even if I didn't, I got to fly on a private plane today, so who really gives a shit after that???!!!

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Kid-Friendly

It amazes me how different kids are these days. Seeing how entitled and spoiled most kids are these days scares the crap out of me, and is one of the reasons I keep hitting the snooze button on my biological clock. Maybe it's because my parents weren't born here, but I would beat my kid if they talked back to me, or didn't respect their elders.

I have an adorable 6 year old cousin, who is spoiled rotten. She was the first baby in the family in 22 years, so it was unavoidable. Her parents both work 6 days a week, 12 hours a day, and my eldest aunt nannies her. She rarely hears no, gets to eat McDonald's, sweets and junk food almost daily and has been given no boundaries. In her 6 years, she has learned that if she pesters or screams loud enough, she will eventually get her way. I've seen her try to hit her mother, and be pissy with my grandmother. If someone tells her no, she pretends not to hear. When we're all together, if she asks for something and I tell her no, she'll go to our aunt or some other adult for a yes.

She's pretty much a terror and thinks the world revolves around her. She yells at her parents, is snarky to our grandmother, thinks everyone is there to wait on her hand and foot. Except, that is, when she's alone with me. Just call me Drill Sergeant.

Unfortunately my schedule doesn't allow me to spend as much time with her as I used to. But when we do get to have a play date, she has learned that tantrums wear her out before me, doesn't even bother asking for McDonald's anymore, that she will always be given a choice with me but each has consequences, and that everything isn't about her. Yet she comes back for more. I love a kid who knows there are limits. And I'm starting to believe they seek them out.

Last Saturday, she didn't have Chinese school, so she plopped her butt in front of the TV. I went over there, took one look and said, "Come on kid, let's go run some errands." She didn't know what errands are, but along she came, and I promised her we would bake Christmas cookies if she was on her best behavior. And I'm proud to say she was a complete angel when it was just the two of us around the city. We went shopping at the Apple store, looked for candle holders, she even sat patiently while I got my eyebrows threaded. I took every opportunity to thank her for keeping me company so I wouldn't get bored while I was out for the afternoon.

Later on, we baked and decorated. Now my version of baking is Christmas cookies is cutting into a Pillsbury log and sprinkling Christmas sugars, decals and dragees on top. Hey, maybe it was cheating but the kid loved it, and her tray definitely came out looking nicer than mine! Unfortunately, she found the dragees too crunchy (I kind of agreed), and ended up spitting them out, but they sure did look good. I put the cooled cookies in a container for her, which she had the manners to ask if she has to return it (I assured her it would be fine to keep), and as we started to get ready to take her and her cookies home, she said "I didn't really like them, I don't want them".

All I did was take one look at her, and she said, "Oh...okay."

That is one smart kid. Like I said, just call me Drill Sergeant!

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Holy Shit, There Are Awards For This?!

Imagine my surprise and delight when Entrepreneur Chick called me "Transparent, truthful, charming and always humorous", and this is the best part: she said I am the exact Chinese version of her (could I be so lucky?!)

Not that she randomly talks about me on her blog all the time, she had presented me with the honor of my very first award!

So having received this award, I am to tell you seven things you do not know about me:

1. I believe in psychics and astrology. Not every psychic, mind you, but I do think there are people out there who have psychic abilities and will go for a session about twice a year or so.

2. I also think some things are best left in the unknown.

3. A piece of my heart died last year when I had to put my dog Zoe to sleep. My mom says I treat animals better than I treat people. She's probably right.

4. I am a total yuppie, but deep down inside, I wish I had the guts to break out of the corporate shell and be a creative. Except I don't have any true artistic talent (pole dancing doesn't count!)

5. I am a closeted sci-fi geek. I think the latest Battlestar Galactica series was some of the most amazing television ever created and produced. EVER.

6. I love who I am and how I look, but have always wished I had a smaller nose.

7. I love to travel but am terrible at planning vacations. I'm much more of a last-minute trip person, which is not ideal when you want to make a trip that really requires a time investment and thorough planning, like going somewhere overseas. I also hate group tours, so that doesn't help much either. I'm also not a fan of tourist traps, and would rather immerse myself in a new culture, be amongst the locals, see how their daily life is, get a taste. Then maybe seek out some tourist spots so I can at least say I was there.

Now I am to list seven people who I pass this award to:

1. Marilisa, Entrepreneur Chick - she gets me, she really really REALLY gets me. We are so alike, I think I really am the Chinese version of her. Not only am I lucky to call her my friend, but I also see her as my adopted Momma because she worries when I fly and stuff like that. It totally cracks me up because I've been traveling on my own for about 15 years now, but I do appreciate it.

2. Aunt Juicebox, Bacon is my Lover - her writing is so balls-to-the-wall honest and hard core, I constantly bust my gut laughing reading her blog. She takes bad situations and rough times, says it like it is and just rides the wave, which I completely admire.

3. Rebekah, The Maudern Experiment - real-life friend for more years than I can remember. We have been soul-sisters since day one. She just started a blog of her own and it is a true reflection of the honesty and love she exudes.

4. Jacob, Fools Rush In - a successfully married Match veteran. I love reading about what it's like to be married with step kids. So freaking honest and funny. And, he gives good advice about dating.

5. Avignon in Photos - a beautiful photography blog from Avignon, France. Of course, as I write this, I see that today's post is of poop. Love it.

6. Diamond in the Rough - incredibly, fucking hilarious. That's all I can say about that.

7. Okay...this is where I admit that I don't read more than six blogs on a regular basis...sorry, I feel kind of lame now. I could have lied, but that's just not my style.

I kind of feel like that person who has sent out one of those stupid emails that require you to forward within 5 minutes to 7 people otherwise you will have bad luck forever, but I did want to pass on the Superior Scribbler Award because I think those blogs fucking rock.

Having said that, for those of you who I bestow this award- please do so in return if you are so inclined. But if you don't, nothing bad will happen to you, don't worry.

List seven things we do not know about you.

Pass the award on to seven blogs you enjoy.

Thank the original sender.

Notify the seven blogs to whom you passed the award.

Momma, thank you again for my very first award!!!!

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