Last week, I thought it would be interesting to try out online dating, just to try something different and to see what's out there...you know, trying to shake things up. I had briefly tried it over a year ago, but met my ex shortly thereafter and that was the end of that venture.
It's interesting...browsing men as if shopping from a catalog. You can be proactive and reach out to them, or you can be passive and just see what comes your way. I'm kind of chicken shit shy about this whole process, so I'm pretty much letting them email me or sending a "wink" if I REALLY think they're cute.
So it's been a little less than a week, and pretty interesting so far. I replied to one guy who didn't have a picture on his profile, but he seemed nice from his email, and I didn't want to be closed-minded about this whole thing, so I wrote back. His next email still didn't have a pic, so I flat out asked him for it, and well...while he wasn't fugly, I definitely see why he didn't post it. That was a rookie mistake, huh? And I honestly didn't know what to do about it. If I send him a "no thanks" email or just stop replying, he'd know that it was because of his looks, and then I would seem like a vain and shallow bitch, right??? But what is my alternative here, I wasn't even that interested to begin with. So while I took the night and next day to decide what to do, he wrote me again, "you there?". The next day, he wrote another email, and yesterday, he wrote yet again. Needless to say, I didn't feel too bad about sending him a canned "no thanks" email after that.
Then this morning, I was looking through my recent emails and I noticed a trend...a fairly large number of the men emailing me are in the 40+ range. At 34, do I fall into THAT category already??? Not that I have a problem with older men. I just don't remember this many in that range emailing me the last time around. And there have been practically no men in their 20's emailing me. Do men look at my age and think "no way, she probably wants babies ASAP!"
Am I being subjected to online dating age discrimination??? Do they not believe me when I put "Maybe" in the kids question???
I'm not sure how I feel about online dating. I like to meet a person face to face, feel them out, see if I get a spark or even a tingle. But it's only been a week, and there are so many people I know who have had successful relationships from online dating, so why not, right?
Anyone have some tips for me?
Oh and btw, none of the guys I've sent "winks" to have returned the gesture, how rude!!!!
7 comments:
Well, dating is not my strong point, and I've been dating/married to my current husband for 10 years, so I know even less about the online thing. However, my BFF has been dabbling in this arena, and she has had very little luck. She does better meeting guys in bars, where she can see the in person. We've thought about a few places though, that single women could meet men, and the two places we've come up with as being the best choices, are the hardware store, and Hooters. You wouldn't believe the number of men who go in a Hooters w/o women with them (or maybe you would) so it's the motherlode. The hardware store is a little more subtle, but you usually find more men who are employed when you hang out at the hardware store. You just go in and pretend to be lost or need advice. ;)
You could probably fudge on your age a little, but I tend to think that there are fewer single men in the 30's age range, just by virtue of the fact that they haven't broken up with their signif other that they've been with since college yet. My BFF has noticed this as well, most of the single men out there are in their early 20's or early 40's.
Okay, now I'm slightly depressed...! LOL
Hooters here in NYC only attracts tourists, and based on the 2 times I've been there, they were usually families/groups. But I do tend to meet men while out at restaurants and stuff. I'm just trying something new, curious to see what happens!
Really? Tourists go to Hooters? Stupid tourists! LOL You have to go at night, and try it on a night a game is being played, maybe. Or some other sports bars. My brother hangs out at one called Wild Mike's. Same concept.
Sports????!!!!! *shudder*
So basically I AM a ride a Disneyworld, E.C.????!!!! LOL
Happily married Match.com veteran here. Lied about my age on my profile (shaved off several years) because my (now) wife would have excluded me otherwise. I told her later that I lied for her benefit - she was too young to know what a great catch an "older" man like me could be. She didn't argue. So my advice? Forget about age, as long as they're within ten years, but: 1) get a picture; 2) dump chatters who don't move fairly quickly to a phone call and meet-up; 3) dump men who evade basic questions; 4) decide whether you want a baby.
Thanks for the great advice Jacob! I actually keep it to about a 10 year limit, but you're right, age isn't that important. 15 years is a little tough to justify though!
As for deciding whether I do want a baby or not...I still vacillate. I can't help it, I'm a woman, it's my right to change my mind! ;)
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