Little Bo-Peep

Back in December, J met a nice guy at a Christmas party who went to her high school, and they really seemed to hit it off with. Great way to end the year, right? But after several conversations and texts back and forth, she was asked out and subsequently stood up twice by the dude. That's so rude, who does that???

A few weeks later, as she was sharing her frustration about the guy with some old school chums, someone asked, "Wasn't he the one who was rumored to have done it with a sheep when we were in high school???" And that's when the light bulb turned on. There was a guy in high school who everyone said had stuck his you-know-what in a sheep, and considering how rare a rumor like that is, it MUST HAVE BEEN HIM. Once again, who does that????

She shouldn't feel slighted about being stood up by a guy like that, because she's absolutely amazing, and realistically, he did her a favor! Would you really want to be known as the girl who went out with the guy who shagged a sheep? And honestly, would you even touch that thing with a 10-foot pole, in case the rumor is true??? If it is true, maybe he flaked because he just doesn't know how to interact with real people!

But back to the poor sheep - I couldn't help but wonder, was it a sexual attachment to the sheep? Simple curiosity? Or was it a case of animal cruelty??? Maybe it's because I majored in psychology that I find this whole thing fascinating, or maybe because it's just so fucked up.

What drives a desire or a compulsion like that???

So I did some research...The most fascinating part is that people who engage in bestiality (otherwise known as zoophilia) or who have thoughts of bestiality are normal people just like you and me. After some quick research on Wikipedia, it seems that people who engage in bestiality do so because they simply don't want to deal with the hassle of sex with emotion and relationships (OMG, I was right!!!). And, this has been going on since the ancient Greeks were around. GROSS.

Coincidentally, last night during a bout of insomnia, I came across a documentary on Sundance On Demand called Zoo, about a man in Washington state who died as a result of a perforated colon after having sex with a horse. I couldn't bring myself to watch the movie...I figured at 2am, it was a bit heavy and morbid while trying to zone out, but I actually remember when this incident happened. I was working for a company based out of Seattle several years ago, and we were all gathered for a national sales meeting when this hit the news. At the time, it was not illegal to have sex with animals in the state of Washington, which shocked the hell out of us New Yorkers. How can something like that not be illegal??? It's still illegal to perform oral sex in the state of New Jersey! AND, this guy was an executive at Boeing, had a family and everything. Craziness. How do you think his kids feel knowing this is how their father died???

Unfortunately, the DSM-IV doesn't consider bestiality to be a diagnosed condition unless it affects a person's ability to function normally in daily life. Besides, how would you treat someone with this condition anyway? Would they attend sex rehab with Tiger??? I believe that your sexuality and who you're attracted to is genetic, so is bestiality the same because these people can't help being attracted to animals?

Oye...I had meant to tell you guys a funny story, but now I've made it all dark and twisted. I need a drink or some sleeping pills now, anything to obliterate this from my mind!!!

Back to Sheep Boy from high school, his story has inspired me to make an amateur attempt at a little rhyme for you all:

Little Bo-Peep has lost her sheep,
And can't tell where to find them

Leave them alone, And they'll come home
Wagging their tails behind them

Unless, that is, Sheep Boy
Has managed to have his way about them!!!

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