I passed a couple on the street today - a lithe, hip, gorgeous 20-something Asian girl on the arm of a 60+ Caucasian gentleman. And he definitely was not her grandpa. I don't get it.
Actually, who am I to judge, right? But seriously, how does that work? You see that walking down the street and it just screams SUGAR DADDY. But for all I know, they have major intellectual/cerebral chemistry. It's possible...right?
I mean, there's someone out there for everyone, so maybe he's her someone and vice versa. There's no explaining chemistry. But then I started to wonder, could I be in a relationship like that? Not likely. Alternatively, could I be in a relationship where I was the breadwinner (again)?
Based on past experience, my knee-jerk reaction is a big, resounding NO. I have no problem being with someone who makes less than me, but significantly less? My experience is that it emasculated my partner, and he started to treat me not so nicely. It sucked. You think that sharing is helping, but it just made the whole situation worse and worse and worse, until it simply broke.
And in hindsight, I get it. It was a whole male ego thing - he felt that being supported by his girlfriend made him less of a man. But what was the alternative? I wanted to stand by my man, and I couldn't stand by and watch him in pain.
Or maybe I should have. I gave and gave, until I had nothing left to give. Emotionally, that is. I spent so much time looking after him and taking care of him and making sure his feelings would be okay, that one day I woke up and realized, who's looking after my needs? Who's making sure I'm okay? I certainly wasn't, and had forgotten that I even had wants and needs that weren't his. It sucked, and it hurt, but I realized I had to focus on myself and get myself out of the hole if I wanted a semblance of a happy life. It felt so selfish, but like I said, even I wasn't looking out for me.
So on the flip side, would I date a sugar daddy? No, even if I could not be an equal contributor, then at least I would need to be a contributor. But I do want babies, and I would love to be able to stay home with them for at least the first few years of their lives. And that's impossible if your partner's income can't support it. Children are expensive. New York is expensive. How do people do it in this city? Yes, you make sacrifices, save up, and budget. Everyone doesn't live a Sex & the City lifestyle, I get it. Money is useless without love. But love without money is...stressful. I've seen my parents go through it...not fun.
Sigh...is it possible to have it all???
About a year ago, girl meets boy, friend gives boy the girl's phone number, boy calls girl and asks her out. We went on what I thought was a really good date - we went for a nice dinner, walked around exploring the neighborhood and talking, stopped for dessert, walked around some more to talk and get to know each other, he gave me a big hug at the end of the night, said he'd call me the next day...and I never heard from him again.
